"Can't be done now, mate." - "Looks hopeless for you" - "Who you've got next? Oh, Pompey away!! No chance there!"
Your mates might cheer you up with your girlfriend troubles - might - but when your teams down and struggling they don't care a s**t do they. They've got their own boys to worry about and in footballing terms it's every man for himself.
So it's up to you to find a way of cheering yourself up. Find a smile from somewhere, its only football, ain't it? And there's always next week. But sadly some people seem to have given up completely after Saturday's result and who can blame them really.
But hang on a minute, how is it that the crowd ( and the blogs and web pages ) can give up and not keep it to themselves but broadcast to the world that the cause is hopeless but at the same time still expect the players to give everything and more in the cause. Something wrong in the reasoning there. Or do we expect thousands of pounds a week in their pocket to give them energy, passion and belief. No, its not going to, is it?
So its up to us to do our bit, make the right noises and say the right things. Did I hear the Kop singing when they were losing to Arsenal last week? That's an example for everyone to keep in mind. You can give up if you like but until somebody shows me the table and points out that the team in 17th place has more points than its possible for the Addicks to get, I'll go on believing, and writing, that we can turn it round especially as we're in the middle of January and have yet to finish any possible wheeing and dealing.
Then, for some reason, probably 'cause I was walking across Colon Square ( Christopher Colombus that is ) , I thought of Columbus discovering America. Nobody believed he could sail over the horizon, the fool would fall over the edge of the world. He had to convince people that there was a New World, just over there. Was he a pessimist? No, but everybody told him he was stupid and that he should change his ways or face the Inquisition and even that didn't stop him believing.
What do you think he told his crew after 6 weeks of sailing and with only hard biscuits and filthy water to survive on. "Sorry, boys we all better give up now and go back to bed, no point in carrying on really". No, he had guts, optimism and belief and told them "Only 15 more days to go, we'll treat each one like a Cup Final and we'll make it".
Did they believe him? We'll never know but we all better hope that Pardew has the same important qualities or very soon we'll be down in Division Nowhere and following the same path as Forest, Sheffield Wednesday and Man. City before us.