Front, Back and Sides, Please.

So how's it going Pards? Pre-season, I mean. With just a couple of working days left before the boys turn up for work on Monday have you got things under control?

Some of Curbs' old-timers have jumped ship at the thought of fizzy pop football as we knew they would but you've done some business in the market and got some new boys in from all over the world as replacements. So what's left to do?

Well, seems there's still a couple of areas that you seem to have forgotten about or is it that you've put 'em on the back burner till funds become available? Yes, you know what we're referring to - it's that long lost individual, the midfielder. Usually the heart of the team but its been the area of the pitch that's needed something special for ages.

When I was a kid it was off to the barbers for a regular haircut of a front, back and sides. Not very elegant or fashionable but it was neat. That's what seems to have happened with the Addicks. We seem to have taken the barbers instructions to heart. We've got plenty of fronts, loads of backs and several sides. Trouble is we ain't got no middle.

Basically, we're short of some substance, we need building-up in the midriff, we're missing a six-pack, we need some heart. All in all there's something missing in the centre-circle area. Maybe we're gonna become a long ball team, cut out the style and play it long on to Chris's head. But please Pards, we need a Gravesen, a Davids, a Parker, or even a Mullins. Somebody to help little Andy when he gets knocked about by them Cardiff bouncers.

A quote from Paddy Powell on Tuesday calls you the most positive person he's ever met in football. Well, that's all very well but you know the trouble with positive people the same as I do. Seeing the glass half full all the time can lead to thinking that everythings OK, that things are not really so bad as everyone thinks. But complacency is a killer, just when you thinks things are rosy, it can sneak up and bite you up the backside. So take my word for it - STRENGTH THE MIDFIELD...

So how long have we got now to rectify this deplorable situation? Well, its only 6 weeks on Saturday till the Iron turn up. 42 very short days and at the moment it looks like Faye and Holland with Mad Dog in the background. Not very inspiring really and nobody seems to think that Jody Morris is the answer to our prayers.

Oh, and we need a goalkeeper, as well....