"Top the Lot"

Just finished reading a book about the life of Henry the Eighth and its chock-a-block full of him sending for the axe to get rid of people that couldn't put their weight. Wives that couldn't produce male heirs, bishops that didn't agree with his ideas on religion and ministers that he couldn't trust, they all suffered the same fate - the dreaded chop.

So the news that the "deadwood", not my words, from the 2006/07 season are to be summarily disposed off before we start life in the fizzy pops does appear to be a similar approach. And its our top Lord Richard Murray that has laid it on the line.

And after the disaster that's been the last season its obvious that the management are keen to make the real culprits pay the price. "Top the Lot" has been heard from the masses and our only disappointment at the changes will be the regretful fact that innocent numbers of the admin staff will also have to leave as a consequence of the poor performance of the few.

No, its the ringleaders of this sad affair that deserve all they get. Being hung, drawn and quartered is too good for them, we want to see 'em suffer just like we have. All we need to know now is to see exactly who does Pards thinks are the culprits behind the disaster. Through no fault of their own, the first to get the axe have been the on-loan boys Carson, Song and ZiZi dispatched back to their respective owners without the chance of a reprieve. The next out were the two old codgers of the team, JFH and HH, who at their age we knew could not survive in the fizzies.

And despite his near ever-present season and 3 goals the Elk has also been summoned to the board room and given the grim news, off with his head, and into foreign exile with you.

Next out its rumoured to be Jerry Thomas, whose fate is far worse than most with talk of his being dispatched to that den of hopelessness and eternal suffering that is termed Birmingham City FC. Is there no end to the bloodletting? No, it seems not as our beloved Kish also appears on the black execution list and is right now contemplating life in the no-mans land of the midlands condemned to a diet of stale Walkers crisps.

Sadly in any affair of this magnitude there's bound to be some innocents that have to suffer so that changes can be made and the grass made safer to walk upon. So it is that Darren Bent and Luke Young are due to be the next to receive the summons and a long walk into the darkness that is life outside the Valley.

As for the remainder, Rommedahl, Faye, Diawara, M. Bent and Mr Lisbie there is no news and as we're generally speaking humane individuals, it can only be hoped that they didn't suffer unduly as the hand of justice falls upon them, although "Top the Lot" can still be heard at the back.

It only remains for the chief to issue a statement addressing the faithful and outlining the true facts of "The Affair", as far as we'll ever know anyway.

"A unexpected change in our situation, which I might add, was totally unplanned and a surprise to everyone, has unfortunately lead to a complete reversal of attitudes at the club resulting in a necessity to change certain things. Key positions will in future be given to personnel that deserve our trust and a return to normality and efficiency will be the expected result."