Ben and Gone? Or a Tale of Two Ladies?

The signing of Chelski's Ben Sahar on a loan deal was announced by addickted a week ago and although they didn't give their source they're usually pretty reliable in these matters. However, seven days later and there's still been no official comment.

Perhaps its the terms of the loan that need ironing out. Just three months for him to get a bit of first team experience obviously isn't good enough. There needs to be some continuity in a squad and our Pardew is thinking long-term. But its clear that this youngster is a bit special and Israeli's answer to Theo Walcott.

So come on, Pards. Make your mind up - the poor kids obviously waiting for an answer and his mum wants to buy a box to see her little boy play football. As you can see from the neat listing on CAFCPicks we've only got 6 strikers and that includes one M. Bent who clearly is on his way in an outward direction.

So, in a nutshell we need more. Forget all this hoohah about midfielders, tell the defenders to hoof it downfield and got the forwards to chase for it. This is the fizzies remember, no need for any elaborate passing. And this boy does look a bit promising, an Israeli international already, three appearances and 2 goals at 17 already.

But it's obvious that the real reason for the present stalemate is the question of his mum's box. Anxious to take over the box vacated by Darren's mum it's clear that while special arrangements and a small level of re-building may need to be taken against any possible Palestinian terrorists lobbing a rocket or two over the wall there's the question of the transfer fee.

After recently signing a box contract for four years its obvious that Mother Darren doesn't want to let it go cheaply so the ladies are said currently to be in a rather lengthy negotiating wrangle that could take several weeks. Anxious to recoup some of her outlay, Mother Darren is still holding out for the full £18M but is this just a tad too much? Its understood that Mrs Ben has argued that football in the fizzies is not all that special to write back home about and is therefore only offering a miserly £8M and there seems no way to reach an agreement. Its rumored that at their last meeting handbags were raised but there's been no official word on this sorry development.

Will sense prevail? How much does Mother Ben want to see her favorite son notching goals in red and white? Or would she rather see him forlornly waiting on the bench wearing a blue tracksuit and only getting a 2 minute runabout at the end of a game? So come on, Pards. Sort 'em out. Get them talking so that peace can be achieved and a way forward can be reached. Or should we call on our Middle East expert, T. Blair and ask him to spare us a moment.