It's all a Conspiracy!

Its a Friday and already most people are getting heated about tomorrows game and its importance. Well, not me. I'm for following Monica who is trying to keep things calm and in perspective and I can't blame him. Heated up footballers don't perform too well.

So I turned my mind to other things and I'm made a discovery. The whole thing's a conspiracy! Just take a look for yourself. Open the paper and turn to the premiership table. Yeh, the table I told you we should all throw away a few days ago.

Look at it. You see any thing strange about it. Now type the table into your computer and sort it A to Z. See what I mean, its almost the same, isn't it. Go back to the original and you'll notice that all the A's, B's, C's, E's and F's are in the top half of the table and all the L's, M's, N's, S's are in the bottom half while down at the bottom are the 3 W's. Its almost completely alphabetical isn't it!

OK, there's a couple of teams that don't do what they're supposed to do and I'll explain them later.

It's seems obvious that there's this weirdo programmer in charge of the fixtures and he's determined to prove that the whole thing is all a complete waste of time by making sure that the table finishes the same as it started, in alphabetical order. He's trying to poke fun at the sponsors, probably got something against Barclays, wouldn't give him a loan or something.

What about the teams that are out of seq you say. Reading, Portsmouth, Manure. Well, who was going to say that Reading and Portsmouth would be playing as well as they are. By rights they should be where they belong in 14th and 15th places and by the seasons end that's where they'll be. And Manure? Well, who's going to believe it if they were down in their proper 11th position.

So which other team is left out of sequence? Charlton, of course. We stick out like a sore thumb. What's a club starting with a C doing at the bottom. Which of course proves the whole conspiracy. They simply had to be a team that was out of position, just the one so as to complete the sick joke. And it's us. This sick person has obviously got it against the Barclays branch in Vanbrugh Park, Charlton.

If you can't find a table, here is my pathetic attempt to illustrate the whole conspiracy.

Team.................G..........Pts

1.Man Utd..........8..........19
2.Chelsea............8.........19
3.Bolton.............8.........17
4.Portsmouth.....8.........16
5.Arsenal...........7.........14
6.Aston Villa......8........14
7.Everton...........8........13
8.Reading ..........8........13
9.Blackburn........8.......12
10.Fulham...........8.......12
11.Liverpool........8.......11
12.Man City.........8........9
13.M'brough........8........8
14.Spurs..............8........8
15.Newcastle.......8........7
16.Sheff Utd.........8........6
17.Wigan.............7........5
18.West Ham.......8........5
19.Watford..........8........4
20.Charlton.........8........3