Now look here, Nelson, I'm not happy. When I came here last year you assured me that I was going to be a Premiership Blog and there was no talk, whatsoever, about an existence, if I may call it that, outside the Big League.
I've got a Contract that says I was employed as a Top Flight Blog and no, I didn't read the small print, I left that to my agent and its not my fault if he didn't do his job.
All in all, I thought I was doing a good job, nobody complained but despite all my best efforts now look what's happened? Seems we've been.....I'm sorry I can't yet say the word...put into another League.
And all through no fault of my own. In fact I fought as hard as the next Blog to help us get out of the situation; I waved the flag, I encouraged the boys not to give up hope. I was always positive, I believed what the gaffer was telling us, fight to the end, never surrender and all that.
Can't you see the problem! Look at it from my point of view; I'm a Premiership Blog and I just can't take this being in this little Championship thing. All this talk of Colchester, Barnsley and Bristol somebody. Its demeaning, its humiliating, its ignoble, its vulgar, its just not on and its not on the telly either.
But I can see you don't care about my feelings, all you do is call it the fizzy pops and try to make a joke of it all but I not used to this and I just can't see the funny side of it.
And it's just no use you telling me that I've got to change and that I'm not a Premiership Blog anymore - because deep down, I know that I am.
And the best you can do is tell me to buck up my ideas, to get a grip we're in a new League now and you accuse me of not pulling my weight. And to make matters worse you go straight to the Press and blab all about it.
Well, I want to leave. I'm just a kid and I've got no loyalties like you old gits. And while there's time left before the window closes, just give me a transfer and I'll get out of your hair 'cause I can see that you're not happy with the situation.
What!........nobody wants me. What about that guy in the Midlands? Didn't he give you a phone? He didn't.....but I thought...my agent told me...
Oh, .....well, OK , let me get back to you.
To be continued.......