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Monday, September 25, 2006

Heads Up Lads - Only One More Hill to Climb

When things get a little bit difficult its easy to see that different people will react in different ways. Some will sit there nervously not knowing what to do, others will start to loss control and scream and shout to get rid of the pressure while others who cannot handle it either will just get up and walk away. There will be some, however, a minority admittingly, that will seem to thrive on the adversity, that will actually go looking for problems. For these few people a problem is a challenge, a solution waiting to be found.

Given the state we are in at the moment it can´t be long before we´ll be able to place Monica in the appropriate category. But it´ll be the players that will have the first chance to see how he handles the pressure. And this mornings session will be very important for them all.

So what´s our Monica going to say this morning, always assuming, of course, that he gave the boys a day off yesterday.

The first thing he´ll be doing is sitting them down and showing them the Premiership table. A nice big picture, in fact, so that the "Big Picture" can be appreciated.

They wouldn´t need telling where they are in the table, down there at the bottom. But it´ll be the other end of the table that he´ll be pointing to.

He´ll stand at the front with his chest out and imagine he´s Hannibal with one last Alp to cross before Rome, he´ll pretend he´s Montgomery facing Rommell demanding one last push from his men and he´ll be saying:

“Thank God we´re got rid of that lot”, he´ll be saying. “Now just one more to go, next weekend, and then we can really start the season.”

He will then point out that the top four ( he´ll be using the Sunday´s table before Everton moved up to 4th) have played 23 games and only lost 2 of them so we´re not alone in losing these games. Its just unfortunate that we had to play all 4 in our first 6 games. He´ll explain that last seasons games against the same teams won us just 5 points, only 2 more than we currently have and we scored the same number of goals - 4. The minus 11 goals that we now have he´ll explain as being mainly due to the 10 man 3-1 defeat at West Ham, where last year we managed a boring 0-0 draw.

He will then point to the coming fixtures for the months of October and November where we have 5 sucessive games against clubs more on our level, all in the bottom half of the table. Its these 5 games against, Fulham, Watford, Newcastle, Man.City and Wigan that will define our season.

"These are the important games
", he´ll be saying. "Middle of October we´ll start to ease our injury list and thats the time to start playing".

And like a tennis player 5-1 down with one set left to play, he´ll tell them that we´re going to relax and enjoy the visit of Arsenal at the weekend as they are going to save themselves for the important set.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whatever he says he is still f*****g useless.

He couldn't manage a pub team let alone a premier side.

Frankie Valley said...

That's the stoopidest thing I've ever heard, Mr Anon. I reckon running a pub team must be much harder than running a Premiership team.

I think Dowie will prove to be a very good Premiership manager, but I'd love to see him try his motivational speeches and posters on the dressing room wall with eleven hung-over tubs of lard all reeking of stale beer, stale curry, stale farts and Deep Heat ;-)

Frankie Valley said...

That's the stoopidest thing I've ever heard, Mr Anon. I reckon running a pub team must be much harder than running a Premiership team.

I think Dowie will prove to be a very good Premiership manager, but I'd love to see him try his motivational speeches and posters on the dressing room wall with eleven hung-over tubs of lard all reeking of stale beer, stale curry, stale farts and Deep Heat ;-)

Ken J said...

ahhhh - the memories, Frankie :-)