No sooner has the transfer window slammed shut than we are getting out pen and paper, not only to remind us of all the riches we now have at our disposal but to analyse the squad and design our "Perfect Eleven".
No doubt Monica is sitting down at home right now with a nice cup of tea discussing the pros and cons with Mrs Monica. He sat down yesterday discussing the players with Les and Mark and digested all the options on the way home last night but now he wants Mrs Monica's help to get the whole thing organised.
"You have a nice easy day, Iain dear, you've been working too hard these last weeks. Put your feet up here and have some more toast. The Team? Yes, of course, Iain dear, you must stick with the 4-4-2. Alan had a thing about a 4-5-1 didn't he, but you know how cautious he always was. You're not that way inclined at all, Iain dear. Besides he was too pretty to be a football manager, you're different Iain. And I'm so glad you took my advice and got that nice Mr Pouso, Iain, he's just the rugged player the ladies will like"
How are you going to pick the best 11? That's easy, Iain dear, just like baking one of your favorite cherry cakes. The goalie of course is that young Scottie Carson, a good shot stopper though not as experienced as Deano used to be but with Myhre's form slipping last season, he's a young keeper that can only get better. And it might sound strange but I like the way there's no "number 1" in the squad makes them both work harder.
The full-backs will be captain Luke Young and dimmy Djimi - Young still gets caught in possession at times and Djimi sometimes seems to have left his defensive awareness at home, but then nobodys perfect.
Central defence will be your new-boy Souley Diawara and the Herminator. What language they will use to communicate is still a bit of a mystery. Perhaps you need a Language Coach, Iain dear, just teach Souley the english for "out" and "mine" pretty smartish and in his turn perhaps he can teach Hermann to keep his elbows down.
The midfield is the heart of any team. Its got to be strong but creative. Able to stop the opposition and win back the ball. Able to see the perfect through ball or a chip into space but also to provide the first line of defence. So what better duo could we possibly have than the new double-act "Andy and Omar". An fat Irishman and a rugged Uruguayan , what better combination could you wish for?
Backing up the heart of midfield will be a role for the tricksters. Jerome Thomas on the left and Dennis Rommedahl on the right are our two wingers but you can't play them both at the same time. One on the pitch and the other on the bench. Which leaves one midfield place left and here there's no clear leader. And that's exactly how it should be - fool the opposition by using Kish, Faye, Ambrose, Holland or even that nice Brian Hughes as and when it suits.
With two up front the strike force picks itself - Darren Bent and Jimmy-Floyd Hasselbaink. Jimmy's 34 now and no spring chicken so a reinforcement will be needed in this area before long but for the time being its Darren and Jimmy.
And the bench will need reinforcing with the weight of some many internationals. Myhre, El Karkouri, Marcus Bent with two midfielders from Ambrose, Rommedahl, Kish, Faye.
So, is that all clear Iain dear, just remember that you have to make the cake bearing in mind who's coming to tea. Except that in my case I have to give my guests what they like, lots of cherries. In your case you have to give your guests what they didn't like. Do you follow, Iain dear. Would you like another cup of tea?
So you can see that even Mrs Monica has no "Perfect Eleven". Its not even a matter of opinion. Its all a case of having a steady, firm base and then mixing in the spices according to who's coming to tea.
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