They Call me Monica....

Sitting down to tea last night, Mrs Monica has the Team Sheet for Saturday's game all ready, but our Head Coach is somewhat pensive and upset at something.

"What on earths the matter, Iain dear? You look as if you've had a hard day"
"I've just been told what they call me."
"What who call you?"
"What they call me."
"Who are they?"
"Our bloody so-called supporters"
"Well, and what do they call you?"
"Monica - they call me Monica."
"Oh, that. I thought you knew"
"No, I didn´t. And who told you?"
"Oh, I was just surfing, Iain dear and I saw it on Wikipedia."
"Wiki-what."
"Wikipedia, Iain dear. Its sort of an encyclopedia."
"What! You mean I´m in some sort of encyclopedia as "MONICA"
"Oh, don´t fret so Iain. Its bad for your positives ions."

ID grabs his Charlton mug and downs another gulp of tea.

"Whose idea was it anyway? I 'd like to sort 'em out"
"Well they had a poll, Iain dear, a sort of virtual poll, to decide what to call you."
"And they choose MONICA!!. And me going into management thinking I had a head start with the perfect name. There´s Sparkie, Lawrie, Harry, Jolly, and I thought I was already there with Dowie."

"It is perfect, Iain dear. But no-one in football is called by their real name. Wouldn't be right, would it?"
"So tell me. How can I give 'em me upper-cut at the end of a game when I know they call me Monica?"

Mrs Monica reflected for a second.

"Be positive, Iain dear, and try to look on the bright side. I'll tell you the reason for it. Remember that song by Johnny Cash, 'A Boy Named Sue.' About a father wanting his son to be tough and grow up strong. Well, thats want they want, Iain dear. They're tired of being nice and pretty, they want a tough guy. So that's why they called you Monica, so you would come out fighting."

ID looks surprised but impressed by Mrs Monica's reasoning, and then jumps to his feet.

"Give me that Team Sheet. We'll show 'em who's boss around here!"

Mrs Monica smiled to herself, reached for the teapot and poured them both another cup of tea.