My dog's a bit of a bizarre character, chases flies and ignores cats, shits on top of a wall or bush so everyone can get a whiff, and fights like crazy whenever you take him for a walk but in a funny kind of way his strange behaviour reminds me that life in the fizzies is also a bit of bizarre adventure.
Like one of those fantasy games on your PlayStation, weird characters that you've never imagined, let alone cast your eyes upon, appear before your eyes and try as hard as they can to mess up your day and if they're really being nasty, take away all your points.
And just like the video game, they're too many to count and as soon as you dispense with one, another one pops up and so it continues in the quaint scary world of the fizzies.
The list of available monsters in this strange world seems endless, we've already had Izzy Iriekpen (Scunthorpe), the 6'4" twins from Stoke, Mamady Sidibe and Jon "the beast" Parkin, George - "Big George", please - Elokobi (Colchester), Dele Adebola and Michael "mosquito" Mifsud (Coventry) and last week Kayode Odejayi (Barnsley). Now waiting in the wings is another monster called Seyi Olofinjana.
As mentioned last week he's another 6'4" giant, towering a full 9" over our little irish fella, and a midfielder that Wolves manager McCarthy thinks is the best in the Division. Umm! Rather strange then to see him languishing down there in 77th spot in the actim listings while the real King of the Jungle, Reidie, sits comfortably in 3rd place. Obviously one of those players that not everyone can appreciate.
So anyway, Seyi Olofinjana is from Nigeria, is 27 and has played for his national side 9 times, without scoring apparently, although since his purchase for 1.7 mil in the summer of 2004 he's scored 13 times from midfield for Wolves in about 100 games. Not renowned for his strength in the tackle - stick Ambrose on him Pards - and apart from the Hungarian Denes Rosa, who has yet to play a fizzy game this season, is the only non-British Isles player on the Wolves books.
Incidentally, the Addicks surprisingly, have only 4 players in the actim top 100, Reid, ZiZi at 22, Weaver 40th and Lloyd Sam at number 74 which I suppose shows how worthless are the numbers or maybe shows that we have used more players than most other teams in the League thus sharing the points around. Both our nearest rivals Watford and WBA have used 20 players so far, 4 less than the Addicks, and in comparison, Watford have 7 players in the list while West Brom have a staggering 10.
Whatever, Pards will be one who will not be taking too much notice of these listings. Monsters or not, he'll keep his nerve and blast each one away as and when it appears. Which, I suppose, is just how to attack that video game.